From My Worry to Our Wellness
Before you explore this page, I need to share my story with you. My name isn’t really Doctor Shrink; it’s a name I gave to the part of me that had to learn how to heal. By profession, I am a data professional, not a psychologist or a therapist.
This project was born from my own darkest hour, a time when everything around me collapsed. In that space of feeling lost and alone, I found two things that lifted my soul: music and love. I began to write, pouring my raw feelings into words.
Through this process, and with the help of AI tools like ChatGPT, I started to explore concepts that gave language to my experience. I stumbled upon ideas I never knew existed, like Complex PTSD and the profound Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) methodology. (You can find some of the free ACT resources that helped me at actmindfully.com.au).
The music you find here is the result of that journey. It’s my soul’s expression of finding resilience. My only goal is to share my voice and my spirit, hoping it helps you feel that you are not alone in this. This is about connection, not treatment.
How I Began to Understand My Anxiety Through Music
For me, anxiety felt like a constant storm of worry, physical tension, and a mind that wouldn’t stop racing about the future. As a data professional, I’m used to finding patterns, but I couldn’t find a pattern to escape my own feelings. So, I turned to music. I learned that creating melodies could provide a strange and wonderful kind of anchor, a way to ground myself when the storm felt overwhelming.
My Creative Process: From Pain to Melody
This wasn’t a clinical process; it was a deeply personal one. It was my way of taking the chaos inside and giving it a structure that I could not only understand but also find beauty in.
Capturing Raw Feelings
I wrote down my anxious thoughts, physical sensations, and triggers in a journal.
Finding Patterns with AI
I used AI to help me see the recurring themes and emotional patterns in my own writing.
Crafting a Healing Song
I transformed these patterns into lyrics and melodies that felt true to my experience.
Discoveries That Guided My Music
During my journey, I read everything I could find. I was fascinated by research from places like the Journal of Music Therapy, not as a clinician, but as someone trying to understand his own healing. I discovered things that just made sense to me:
- Rhythms around 60-80 BPM felt like they could naturally slow my own frantic heartbeat.
- Repetitive melodies gave me a sense of predictability that countered the chaos of my anxiety.
- Writing lyrics from my own journal made the songs feel incredibly personal and true.
These became the building blocks of my musical medicine.
A Page from My Journal
“The song that came out tonight… it starts with a fast, dissonant rhythm, just like the panic in my chest. But then, the bassline slowly becomes a steady heartbeat. The lyrics don’t try to fix anything. They just say, ‘It’s okay that you’re here, storm. I’ll sit with you.’ And as I sing it, I feel like I’m not just the storm anymore. I’m also the sky holding it.”
Themes Explored in My Music
I don’t “address” anxiety types, but my songs explore the different shapes my own worries have taken. Perhaps you’ll recognize some of these feelings in your own life.
🌀 Navigating Persistent Worry
For the days when the mind just won't stop running.
😰 Facing Social Fears
For the times I felt the weight of being judged.
⚡ Riding Out Panic Waves
For the intense moments when fear felt all-consuming.
An Invitation to You
This isn’t a service or a cure. It is an open-hearted invitation to listen to the sounds of my journey. If my music can serve as a companion, a moment of peace, or a reminder that you aren’t walking your path alone, then it has served its highest purpose.
Feel free to explore the songs, connect with the lyrics, and know that they come from a place of shared human experience.
Thank you for being here and for witnessing a piece of my story. May we all find the music that helps us heal.